we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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