So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
