im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
