who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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