I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
