Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sext me about skeletons
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
