walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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