Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
