i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
