And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
