Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
