well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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