What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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