Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
