i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
