Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
