worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
