How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
