this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I supernannyed him into submission
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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