i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
