I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
