So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
