Me too!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
