she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
