see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
