He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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