remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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