State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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