If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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