i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
