can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize