We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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