Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
