Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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