No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
