thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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