the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
