I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize