try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
