I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
