You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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