She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
