You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
