Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
