I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
