I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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