I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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