I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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