wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
