I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
