Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
