So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
