i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
