She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
