I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
