that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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