hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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