Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
