if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
