Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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