I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
